Children who are bullied need a non-violent approach to bullying and conflict avoidance. They need to learn how to use awareness and common sense to prevent and overcome bullying.
Children should learn why some people bully, how to walk and talk with confidence, the ABCs of conflict avoidance and non-violent alternatives to deal with threatening situations. This understanding and these skills will help build self-esteem and provide life skills that will stay with a child through adulthood. When parents learn with their children, they too become aware of the signs of bullying and learn role-playing strategies for dealing with bullying behavior.
Here are eight strategies.
A—Avoid Dangerous Situations:
If confronted with a child who is a consistent problem, move to a different location or take a different route to your next class. It is not cowardly, it is just being smart. This may seem like putting things off but it really is awareness training.
B—Be Calm and Breathe:
When we get nervous our muscles tighten and our breath becomes shallow and more rapid. Understanding and practicing relaxation techniques can help a child not get overwhelmed and be able to make clear and rational decisions to an irrational, immature threat. A bully’s intension is to intimidate. If a child learns self-control, starting with the simplest of functions, breathing, the bully likely will not be successful. Relax so you can respond.
C—Communicate with Confidence:
When and if the bully continues his aggressive nature, communicate with confidence. Our voice, especially in school or any public area, is a powerful weapon. Give a loud and short command of ‘STOP’ with both hands up showing your palms. Showing the palms is non-aggressive whereas fists can be seen as aggressive and may invite further conflict. Kids like to be the center of attention but not if it is negative and all eyes are drawn to them. The loud command of ‘STOP’ should draw attention to the bully and likely embarrass him enough to withdraw.
D—Distance & Stance:
Understanding how far away you are from the bully is important. Can he kick you from that distance, punch you, grab you etc… Try to be at a range where one only can hear the bully’s words. Also arrange your body in a sideways position so as to not allow your vital organs, or what we call centerline, to be exposed.
E—Exits & Environment:
Being aware of how to get away ASAP is the primary concern. Where is the closest exit? What surface area am I standing on? Are there a lot of obstacles in the way and can they be used to my advantage? By keeping objects in between you gives you time and is a hardship for the bully.
F—Yell Fire Not Help:
Screaming or yelling help makes your child sound like every other kid on the playground. If being harmed or feeling extremely helpless or threatened yell fire and people will more likely get involved or at least look in that direction.
G—Get Away and Get Help:
Anytime you have the advantage to run away, do so. Your goal is to get away when you can and find an adult to help with the bully or threat.
H—Hit Hard, Hit First, Hit Fast:
No one has the right to put their hands on you in a way that is harmful to you or attempt to make you feel less of a person. You may have to do what is appropriate with the threat you are given. Using appropriate physical force may be warranted if no other options are available but still the goal is to get away when you can.
Training in the martial arts is not only for the fitness and self-defense aspects but also for the awareness and confidence that it will supply in situations with bullies.